How to Include your Husband in your Home Birth
You might be thinking: I have a midwife and a doula — do I really need my husband that involved?
Midwives, doulas, sisters, mothers, and mothers-in-law can all play essential roles in supporting you through labor. There is something so special about your mother or mother-in-law holding you during contractions. But what about your husband?
After reading countless birth books, I’ve noticed how often the husband’s role is overlooked. Yet this is not just your baby — you created this life together. Birth is a sacred moment, and when your husband feels empowered to step in and help bring your baby earthside, it becomes even more beautiful.
So how do you invite your husband to be not just a bystander, but an active part of your labor?
Just under a year ago, I was extremely pregnant, scanning every birth book I could find, trying to prepare my husband to support me. He wanted to be involved (as I believe most husbands do), but like many men, he had never interacted with childbirth before. Today, I want to walk you through what we did — what worked, what didn’t — and how my husband became my number one asset during labor.
1. The Bradley Method: Husband-Coached Childbirth
One of the most helpful things we did was take a Bradley Method birth class.
Disclaimer: The class moves pretty slowly through the material, so if your husband is already familiar with natural birth, the book alone may be enough. But if you're both new to the world of natural birth, I highly recommend the full class.
Each week, we were given information surrounding how labor and birth works as well as different relaxation exercises to practice together. These were not only helpful during pregnancy but were specifically designed to prepare my husband with hands-on techniques he could use during labor.
The Bradley Method also emphasizes teaching your husband how to notice tension in your body — like a tight jaw or clenched toes — and how to help you release and relax through contractions.
He knows you better than anyone else in the room, and if he’s in tune with your body, he can help you surrender more fully to the labor process.
2. Penny Simkin’s The Birth Partner
This book gives a fantastic overview of the stages of labor and practical ways your husband can support you during each phase.
It’s an easy and quick read, and while not every piece of advice will fit every labor, it was a wonderful tool for giving my husband the confidence to jump in and help.
3. Talk — And Keep Talking
This is the man who helped create this new life with you — talk to him.
It’s easy to feel like we have to "do" childbirth alone, but I promise you: it’s so much better when you invite your husband into the process.
Share with him what truly relaxes you and what doesn’t. Watch birth videos together. Discuss the atmosphere you envision for your labor, and the things you’d prefer to avoid. Let him help make decisions alongside you.
Your husband matters in the birth room. He is the father of this baby — don’t shut him out or forget about his place in this beautiful journey.
A Little Bit About My Birth
My labor moved quickly — from the first contraction to holding my baby, only six hours passed.
My amazing mother-in-law gave me counterpressure through many intense back labor contractions, and being on my hands and knees helped tremendously. But the single most powerful support came from my husband.
Every time a contraction started, I would call for him, and he would come immediately, put his face next to mine, and begin whispering encouragement.
He held me — emotionally, physically, spiritually — through every surge.
That night was a testament to the incredible strength that comes when a wife can surrender into the arms of her husband. I will always treasure the way he carried me through that sacred work of birth.
